Last week I discovered something, that seemingly helped with the overwhelming feelings of depression I've been having lately. I found that by making myself busier, I had less time to sit around and be in my head too much. It was as simple as picking up some overtime hours at work a few evenings in a row!
Granted working overtime is not always the greatest thing to do, but it is nice when that paycheck comes around. I also realize that picking up extra hours at one's primary job might not be doable for everyone out there. That's besides the point I'm trying to make. The point is, find your thing!
That's not to say that "my thing" is simply picking up overtime at work. Far from it in fact. Most of the time I loathe the idea of having to stay later than my 8 hour shift. Truth is right now I'm in need of the extra money so it's either pick up some overtime or get a part time job. For now, overtime is winning.
For a while I thought joining a local social group and making new friends would be the answer. I went to the once weekly meetups for a little over two months. All I ended up feeling, was lonely. It seemed the more people I surrounded myself with, the lonelier I felt. I do have a few friends I've made from the group but on a whole, it wasn't what I needed.
But last week, being busier than I have in a while, I can honestly look back and see that last week, I was happy. Now I'm in the current week and haven't had any extra evenings to pick up overtime, and I've felt my mood dip low yet again. This leads me to the conclusion that I need to find "my thing" to help me occupy my time. This will undoubtedly lead to some much needed soul searching on my part but I think I'm up for the challenge.
I throw this question out to you: what do you do to soul search?
Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Sunday, October 2, 2016
Ups and Downs
Well it's certainly been a while since I've been here. Anyone miss me? *crickets*
Happy October!
I need to get back to writing, it's my go-to for when times are tough, and boy have they been tough for me. Mostly, just mentally. I should have remembered this blog last month as it was Suicide Awareness Month. As someone who has a personal history with suicide, it hits home. I'm not as hesitant to talk about it anymore but I still have triggers where it's concerned and sometimes it is difficult to talk about it without getting choked up.
Maybe turning this blog into an awareness blog, overall, and how I find coping methods everyday to help me stay strong through my various interests, could be my theme. Thoughts? Is that a sort of thing that people would be interested in continuously reading about and gain traffic? I just feel like I want to find something to put out there and help others and also myself. Be happy with life, ya know?
In regard to myself and the ups and downs I titled this post about, life has just been meh lately. I tend to go through a sort of Summer depression every year as I loathe the heat and humidity and long for Autumn. Usually when late September arrives it starts to feel like home to me and the depression lightens. This year though, I don't feel it lifting. Some days are better than others but overall I've just been feeling empty. The urge to cry over nothing begins and then it goes away and I'm just left not feeling anything. The thoughts of wanting the cycle to end though, begin to creep up. I do feel I'm in a better place in that when those thoughts try to invade me I find myself really considering them BUT I then pick them apart and discover they are not the way. That's progress, right?
Some may think not but I'm now 36 (as of last month!) and I feel like I've come to know myself better. Each year when I turn another year older I think back to when I almost didn't make it to 20, and I celebrate my second chance. I've also decided that next year I will buy myself a birthday cake, just because!
In closing this first post back of mine, with many more regular updates to come as I promise to give myself the goal of this, I'm going to put it out there for the world to see. I will link my social media pages on here and then in reverse link back here. If YOU or anyone you know is going through depression, please don't be afraid to talk about it! Always keep fighting and know you are not alone! I've just linked to a page on Facebook about a campaign actor Jared Padalecki started in regards to mental illness and raising awareness.
Please post any comments, questions or concerns and I will address them. I want to start a conversation and go forward with those in mind.
Until next time...live, laugh and keep going!
Heidi
Happy October!
I need to get back to writing, it's my go-to for when times are tough, and boy have they been tough for me. Mostly, just mentally. I should have remembered this blog last month as it was Suicide Awareness Month. As someone who has a personal history with suicide, it hits home. I'm not as hesitant to talk about it anymore but I still have triggers where it's concerned and sometimes it is difficult to talk about it without getting choked up.
Maybe turning this blog into an awareness blog, overall, and how I find coping methods everyday to help me stay strong through my various interests, could be my theme. Thoughts? Is that a sort of thing that people would be interested in continuously reading about and gain traffic? I just feel like I want to find something to put out there and help others and also myself. Be happy with life, ya know?
In regard to myself and the ups and downs I titled this post about, life has just been meh lately. I tend to go through a sort of Summer depression every year as I loathe the heat and humidity and long for Autumn. Usually when late September arrives it starts to feel like home to me and the depression lightens. This year though, I don't feel it lifting. Some days are better than others but overall I've just been feeling empty. The urge to cry over nothing begins and then it goes away and I'm just left not feeling anything. The thoughts of wanting the cycle to end though, begin to creep up. I do feel I'm in a better place in that when those thoughts try to invade me I find myself really considering them BUT I then pick them apart and discover they are not the way. That's progress, right?
Some may think not but I'm now 36 (as of last month!) and I feel like I've come to know myself better. Each year when I turn another year older I think back to when I almost didn't make it to 20, and I celebrate my second chance. I've also decided that next year I will buy myself a birthday cake, just because!
In closing this first post back of mine, with many more regular updates to come as I promise to give myself the goal of this, I'm going to put it out there for the world to see. I will link my social media pages on here and then in reverse link back here. If YOU or anyone you know is going through depression, please don't be afraid to talk about it! Always keep fighting and know you are not alone! I've just linked to a page on Facebook about a campaign actor Jared Padalecki started in regards to mental illness and raising awareness.
Please post any comments, questions or concerns and I will address them. I want to start a conversation and go forward with those in mind.
Until next time...live, laugh and keep going!
Heidi
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